Irony

I just finished writing a three paragraph blog, complaining about what a struggle it is to write anything at this point in my life and somehow, some way, I must have hit the right combination of buttons on my keyboard and all the words disappeared. I just spent the last three minutes staring dumbfounded at my computer screen and now I am laughing maniacally – inside my head of course.

AS I WAS SAYING…

I write on average about 5 sentences per day on this novel and I consider that a win. I designed an awesome cover which I cannot wait to reveal, I’ve changed the title of the novel four times and I am still on the fence with it. So, I have an awesome cover, so-so title and a half-written novel. At the rate I’m going, I’ll probably publish this thing in 2018 sometime.

I decided to start attaching some of the novel – maybe get your opinion on it. (I was being clever – I’ve always wanted to start a novel this way.)

The Truth About Boys and Girls (Title subject to change eight more times…)

Prologue

“How’s that?” he asked loudly over the screeching and squeaking that had taken on a certain rhythm.

“Hang on!” she shouted almost breathlessly as her hand fumbled for something next to her, her eyes loathe to leave the object that had her practically mesmerized.

“More lube,” she breathed out as her thumb flipped the cap. “It’s burning, just…hold it,” she stated as she gave a small squirt.

The screeching backed off until it completely stopped. “Did I say back off? Keep going,” she ordered without looking at him.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I ‘m sure. Give it a little more ass,” she commanded, her hand still wrapped around the small bottle, ready to squirt again if the need arose.

“All right, here goes. You ready?”

“Yeah, I’m ready. Do it. We’re close,” she said, her eyes flicking to the side and back; watching, waiting impatiently as the sound increased and the vibration shook her body with an almost numbing sensation.

A new sound, more like knocking could be heard, so faint but it was there. She wondered vaguely if anyone else would hear it, suddenly embarrassed. “Back off!” she yelled as loudly as she could as the sound increased in volume, causing her to wince.

“Back off!” she yelled louder, the sound becoming even more alarming.

“More ass? Come on, baby!” he roared almost gleefully over the symphony of screeching and knocking.

“STOP!” she practically screamed as the vibration took on a whole new feel. “You -”

She jerked her head back from the onslaught of hot liquid; turning her torso to the side as the spray hit her full on. Her arms immediately covered her face as she tried to twist away.

“Holy shit!” she could hear him yell as all other sound ceased.

“You Ok?” she heard a second later, his voice was much closer now.

NO!” she forced out as her arms dropped and she shook the hot, sticky liquid from them to no real avail.

“I’m so sorry, Andie. I didn’t think…I thought you wanted more ass?” he added sheepishly as her eyes finally met his. “That thing spewed like crazy,” he stated in wonder as he looked at it and then at her with apologetic eyes.

It wasn’t working.

She was drenched. John was dead meat.

And the engine they just dyno’d was probably toast.

 

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